There’s Something in the Water Honorable Mention
It was a pirate’s life for them, and their life was splendid as could be.
Raiding ships and exploring unknown islands throughout every corner of the sea.
Singing songs of liberty and plunder with salty sailors bold and free,
Not in tune but no less bold with their hearty sea shanty.
It was the peak of noon with salty breezes upon the ocean’s roof. Scoffing gulls and hearty ayes among an old wooden vessel sailing boldly from a man forsaken island full of the plunders of booty. The glimmer of silver and the gleam of gold shone as the captain dug his hands into the plundered hoards of riches just taken from an undiscovered island alongside the deed of his new land claimed. “Har, har. This ole salty dog’s gonna be rich! Ye hear that lad’s, we’re all going to be filthy rich! When the rest of ye land-lubbers get us to shore, we’re gonna feast and get ourselves drunk on victory! Who’s with me? The finest rum and the best lassies our crew can muster?” the Captain asked.
“Aye Captain! You never steer us wrong and you always pay us our share!” the First Mate sided.
“Aye! Aye Captain! Aye, Captain, we’re all in for rum and pleasurable company!” various Sailors shouted.
“Sound the accordion and get the violin a going, me hearties! I feel a sea shanty a-comin!” the Captain declared. The accordion player came out of his personal chambers with the violinist and started playing.
Two Pirates were lounging near the edge of the ship. “Just curious, how did we ever get an accordion and a violin player who actually have an accordion and a violin? Did that just happen upon us?” one Pirate asked.
The other chuckled as he straightened the bandana around his forehead. “Captain likes to have music when he’s a sailing. Says it keeps the crew sane. I say it’s a good investment. Aye?” the Second Pirate suggested.
“Aye, matey, aye! It stirs a fire in this ole sailor’s heart and gets these old legs wanting to dance a merry jig!” the First Pirate hinted.
Oh, we sail across the ocean sea,
Plundering treasure where it may be,
Raise those sails and breathe that salty sea air,
Man the helm and boldly dare,
Raiding ships and islands for their treasure,
Silver and gold, and all their goods without measure,
Securing the lifelines and raising our banner to display our rank,
Making traitors pay the price as they walk the plank!
Oh, we sail across the ocean sea,
Plundering treasure where it may be,
Raise those sails and breathe that salty sea air,
Man the helm and boldly dare,
Fighting sailors and monsters where they dwell,
All sorts of nightmarish creatures from the pits of Tartarus and hell!
Neither weak in our resolve but sure and strong!
Avoiding the devils tunes of the sea, the harpy and mermaid’s song!
Oh, we sail across the ocean sea,
Plundering treasure where it may be,
Raise those sails and breathe that salty sea air,
Man the helm and boldly dare,
Let this life be the life for me,
Sailing across the rooftops of the sea,
I may go back to shore and shortly roam,
But on a ship sailing the seven seas is where I call my home!
Oh, we sail across the ocean sea,
Plundering treasure where it may be,
Raise those sails and breathe that salty sea air,
Man the helm and boldly dare,
Oh, we sail across the ocean sea,
Plundering treasure where it may be,
Raise those sails and breathe that salty sea air,
Man the helm and boldly dare,
“Do you think the Captain cares if any of them are actually able to sing on key?” a younger Pirate asked.
“Better them singing off key and their hearts merry then having the harpies songs luring fools to their deaths,” the First Mate hinted.
The Younger Pirate rolled his eyes. “Because there is nothing more likely to lure mermaids so they can lure sailors to their deaths, then having a bunch of idiots singing loud songs they can hear so they can then lure us to our deaths. If you’re all going to make us harpy fodder to a bunch of mermaids, you might as well sing on key before they find us. It will make life a bit less miserable before we all die,” the Younger Pirate scolded.
“Oye! This lad says it’s stupid to have music playing. Captain! This young cabin boy says it’s stupid to have music playing!” the First Mate declared.
There were growls rising among the pirates. The Captain approached with his red coat, black pants and shorts, with his peg leg and an eye patch around his right eye. Because every pirate has to have an eye patch on their right eye, otherwise they’re clearly not a pirate. “Now what’s this you’re saying, you salty bilge rat? Are you saying it’s stupid to have me music playing on me ship?” the Captain demanded.
“Captain, no offense, but if mermaids are about and we’re singing so they can find us, it probably is a really stupid decision, wouldn’t you say?” the Younger Pirate asked.
The Captain thought about what he said for a moment, his face softened, and he gave a sigh. “Aye, that would probably be a very stupid thing. You got some wits about ya, boy, and I like having some wits on me ship! Promote this lad to a buccaneer! He’s getting a promotion on this ship. You see this lad? You see the wits about him? He be going places, this one! All you lot better sharpen up! He’s a smart one, this one!” the Captain declared.
“Captain, if we allow him to keep being smart on this ship, the crew may start acting smart with you and undermine your authority. Just because he made a smart decision doesn’t mean he should be allowed to act smart with ya!” a Pirate suggested.
“Ah, shut your trap! If he’s acting smart and he’s speaking smart things, then I say it’s worth having his kind of smart on me ship. The boy stays and is getting promoted. It’s a smart decision!” the Captain declared.
“How incredibly smart of you to make the distinction between a smart mind and a smart aleck!” another Pirate shouted.
“Both are good on me ship, lads, both are goods on me ship! Now, back to work all of ye!” the Captain declared.
A couple pirates gave a complete face palm. The crew dispersed as the First Mate started laughing. “In all my years of sailing the seven seas, I never have heard of a captain rewarding a person for saying hes stupid on his own ship, even if he was, and actually living to tell the tale. In my day and age, I would have walked the plank for that. Well done, cabin boy!” the First Mate retorted.
A sudden splash, but not a sailor noticed. A lovely figure, a long fish body, with a tail rapidly swimming around the ship, while another started to join with it. Then another. Then another. As if the songs of bold men had brought the ladies of the sea to their hunting grounds, and these ladies were thrilled. “Alright, you salty dogs, listen up! These waters are known to have mermaids swimming about them. We need to keep a sharp eye for beautiful women singing lovely songs upon some rock near waters without land to be seen for miles about. All you dogs load your pistols and have them at the ready. I hear mermaid scales sell for a pretty piece of silver on land,” the Captain ordered.
“Aye Captain! Alright you, miserable lot, you heard him! Step lively on it! Pistols loaded and at the ready, with your swords strapped to your sides. Be alert and ready to fire!” the First Mate declared. Storm clouds began to surround the heavens with darkness permeating the area, as the sailors noticed something, unnatural, about what was happening.
Oh, such handsome gentlemen,
Roaming across the sea,
Who yearn for home and tender love,
Come close, come close, to me,
My arms warm, my lips are red,
So pleasing to your sight,
Such love to share, my arms to comfort your weary head,
As I give you your delight,
Oh handsome men upon the sea,
Come close to your angel from above,
For I am lovely and tender to see,
I give to you, my love…
The Pirates heard the sound of sirens song, but as they turned around, they became mesmerized. The First Mate turned to the Cabin Boy who had his pistol at the ready, the First Mate drew his pistol and aimed at the singing harpy. “Steady boy, steady,” the First Mate ordered.
The Cabin Boy nervously held his shot and pointed it at the harpy. “Now!” the First Mate ordered. The Cabin Boy fired his shot and hit the harpy dead center to her beating heart, the blood flowing as her tail emerged and the illusion faded away. The Captain and the other crew members came to their senses, and realized what was going on.
“They’ve done it, lads, they have freed us! Get the harpoon and the nets, we’re harvesting harpies today! Get your pistols and shoot the beasts in these waters!” the Captain ordered.
The Pirates immediately started grabbing harpoons from the storage room and began shooting the harpies that were barely below the roof of the ocean. Their screams emerged while a few survivors fled, the Pirates harpooning the dead mermaid’s bodies and raising them with their nets. “Lads, we will be eating like kings when we get to shore! These mermaids were young and their scales undamaged. They will sell for a pretty sack of silver when we get to shore. What say all ye? A feast of celebration and wine for all our troubles when we get back to the mainland?” the Captain suggested.
He was met with repetitive ayes throughout his crew. “Alright lads, now we can sing our song when we hit land, boys!” the Captain insisted.
The First Mate looked at the cabin boy and rolled his eyes as the Cabin Boy gave him a sly grin. “Don’t let this little victory get to your head, pup. You had to have me tell you to keep it steady before you even took that shot. I’m still First Mate over you,” the First Mate rebuked.
The Cabin Boy rolled his eyes. “Well, at least the crew won’t end up dead as harpy fodder when they sing,” the Cabin Boy suggested.
“Aye lad, that be true,” the First Mate conceded. The sun was setting into the western hemisphere while the ship merrily sailed towards the mainland with salty dogs singing hearty songs about life and the sea, and how to keep their wits about when pretty lassies were trying to lure them to their deaths after being months at sea without seeing a woman. Because clearly it wouldn’t have been obvious enough to have some suspicious random beautiful woman on a rock without land mass in sight singing beautiful songs about random pirates sailing on a wooden ship that just happened to be in the area. Clearly it should have been obvious enough. What was it with men losing their wits with pretty girls on the ocean waters?
May Lord Jesus Christ have all the glory!
By the grace of the Lord God, I have been published with Spectral Realms, the Lorelei Signal, the Lucent Dream: For A Friend Anthology, Creation Illustrated, was a selected honorable mention for the Light Magazine Edition #3 contest under the letters category which was then published in the Lucent Dream Anthology, made it to the second rounds of the SLF Diverse Worlds and Working Class Writer’s Grant, and other faith based and secular publications.
Side Note: The last eight words at the end of the story are a personal expression of faith that the author uses in his works aside from the content of the story. Similar to Johann Sebastian Bach who put, “May God have all the glory,” so the author puts that to glorify his faith in Jesus Christ.
Published 8/7/26