Top 8 Reasons to Go it Alone at a Horror Movie

Do you really know who’s seated behind you at the movie theater?
1) That huge bucket of greasy popcorn is all for you!
2) Are the people behind you letting out screams of fear or expletives of displeasure? Or are they getting angry at you for verbally trying to help the damsel in distress on the screen? When you’re alone you can easily hop from one seat to another to maximize your movie-going experience.
3) There’s one less person near you to shush for being obnoxious, and one less person to shush you.
4) What if the monsters step out of the screen and into the theater? Now there’s one less person to push out of your way as you flee like a little girl to the exit.
5) When you remove the companion-comfort factor, you increase the fright-tingle factor (the horror lover’s dopamine).
6) Your loaner status may give other patrons discomfort to the point where they give you a wide berth of personal space. (Which could be advantageous once that greasy popcorn moves through your viscera.)
7) In case of a zombie apocalypse outbreak, you only have yourself to worry about – there’s no guilt in leaving your friend behind as bait (like that other time at the drive-in).
8) There’s no compromising on the movie you’re going to see. Dragging someone along means possibly being coerced into seeing Mary Poppins Returns when all you really wanted was to hunker down and watch A Quiet Place.
3/1/19 by Staff