You think you’re so perfect, but that’s because you don’t take responsibility for anything.
I have no idea why I’m writing this, because I know you don’t care. I suppose this is my attempt to gain closure, because I cannot depend on you.
You remind me of a vampire. You only visit me at night. You gave me the entire world when I met you, and slowly you began to dismantle it.
Everything is black except the sun. It burns so bright in the horizon, dark red, the color of blood.
I didn’t even notice as first, because I was preoccupied by your touch. I didn’t realize you were the predator, and I was your hapless prey.
I saw fireworks the first time we kissed. The sky exploded in fire.
Everything was red, red, red.
When you told me you loved me, I smiled and my heart beat like a drum.
“I love you too.” I said, and when you smiled, I saw that you had fangs. Very long and so sharp.
It hurt at first when you bit me, but only for a moment. And then I was deluged in the most intense waves of pleasure that I have never felt before.
If love had a name, it would be yours.
I used to stand outside at night and count the stars one by one by one. All the stars I could count until I grew tired, and when I dreamt, I dreamt of constellations.
I grew up on fairy tales and princesses whose stories only concluded once they found their prince. True love was instilled in me, I sought it out obsessively.
I wanted it. I wanted it all. I wanted somebody to look at me and immediately fall deeply, madly and truly in love.
That’s why it felt so amazing when you told me you fell in love with me the first time our eyes met.
I thought I had found my own prince charming, and I would live happily ever after.
Night after night, you came to me and buried your face in my neck.
“Don’t worry,” you rasped. “I will never hurt you.”
And I believed you with all my heart.
I trusted you.
At first, I didn’t notice when the stars started to disappear. Why would I when there are thousands, if not millions, dotting the sky?
I noticed the sun grew darker as the days went on. I figured it was a trick of the light, but there was a knot in my stomach, that it tightened every time I looked up at the sky.
Days passed by, then weeks, months, and every night you came to me and left with blood smeared on your lips.
One night, you drank so deeply that I begged you to stop, but instead with those sharp fangs, you ripped open my throat. You covered my mouth with yours to stifle my screams, and I felt so tired. I drifted and my vision faded away.
When I awoke, you were gone, and so was the wound on my neck. I touched it obsessively, poking my flesh, but there was nothing. Just two pin prick punctures throbbing just like a heartbeat.
I grew dependent, and you knew it. You grew cold and distant, and your visits were intermittent. I spent all my time thinking of you, and I stared out the window, waiting.
When you did come, there were no soothing words or deep passionate kisses. You went straight for my throat and drank hungrily, even though it hurt.
One night I lay on my bed crying from the pain.
“Why do you like to hurt me?” I asked through my tears.
You kissed me gently on my forehead. “Because you like it.”
And you were right, I did.
I liked how you touched every part of me, and the way you stroked my hair. You would fill me until I thought my stomach would burst and whisper that I was a good girl. I liked when your fangs scraped at the sweetest part of my body.
I liked it all, but I especially liked the pain.
It all seems so obvious now, but at the time I thought it was love. For you though, I was just a source of nourishment. You fed off my naivety and my trust.
I realize that you are incapable of love, so you steal it from other people. You are a monster who seduces the good, so you can have a taste of humanity and take it as your town.
The stars were nearly gone when I finally noticed, and it seemed like a catalyst, and I knew it was too late to fix it.
I cried under the black sky for what seemed like hours, and watched as one by one by one the stars blinked and were no more.
I dreamt of catching the fallen stars, but when I touched them, they burst and dripped off my fingers like wax. My hands blistered and burned. When I woke up, they ached.
I hurt everywhere, and there were bruises all over my body. I began to drink poison to numb the pain, and I drank more as it wore off.
You were escalating.
You cracked my wrists and broke my spine. You tore out my heart and licked it with a long silver tongue.
My tears, you told me, turned you on, so you found new and more exciting ways to hurt me, and I took it all.
Because I liked it.
You held me tight to your cold body and licked away my tears.
Your breath was hot in my ear.
“I will never let you go,” you whispered, and I smiled because it feels so good to be wanted by you.
aelily lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia with her daughter and two cats. She likes ghost stories, sailor moon, and chocolate. Her work has been featured on The Nosleep Podcast.