April 4th 2044 (4/4/44)

We still depend on oil, despite our deployment of solar assisted hydrogen satellite turbines. Every year our seasons change a little for the worse. The oceans warm and rise, over a foot in the past fifty years, and as for the polar ice caps, what ice?

Today’s two biggest concerns: World hunger and the over-population of homeless pets

Why not use one to remedy the other?

One solution could be to round up herds of stray dogs. Process, package and ship them overseas for bow-wow burgers.

“Chow down on Chow Hound” However Americans are much too humane to eat their way out of this dilemma.

Thank the great Walt Disney, in part, for giving personalities to animals, ultimately regulating our diets: 

‘Lady and the Tramp’

‘Bambi’

‘Mickey Mouse’

‘Chip and Dale’.

This may be part of the reason we are being overrun with rodents. We don’t eat them.

In some Asian countries rat kabob is a menu standard, tastes like wings.

I can’t stop world hunger and I can’t curb mass starvation, however, in my own way I do what I can, do my part for humankind by obeying the messages.

You’ve seen them. We’ve all see them.  The simulcast billboard infomercials asking us to help provide effective means for the prevention of cruelty to animals:

Please assist in lowering our large population of stray and unwanted dogs and cats.

Let’s all work together to reduce the homeless pet population.

Don’t allow uncaring people and pet abusers to own pets.

Please do what you can to contribute.

***

The golden retriever, clearly frightened, disoriented and out of her element, runs to me, wagging her tail, frantic for help. I do not hesitate. I raise my “turn of the century” silenced 9mm, and pop her in the head.

It’s quick, easy, effective and one less homeless pet to worry about.

With my Opto-Lens, I locate her microchip, mandatory since ’09, scan and cross-reference the database.

Her name, Misty, is listed along with a phone number and address of the owner.

Life is nice.

“Hi, are you missing a pet?”

“I let Misty go outside in the backyard this morning” she says. “It’s fenced. I leave her out there all the time, but the back gate must have been left open. I usually always check.”

Another pet abuser, I’ve heard the scenario before.

It was obviously hours before she even realised Misty was gone.

“When I got home from the mall this evening, I remembered that I forgot to bring her back in. She must be starving by now.”

The reason we have homeless pets is that pet owners don’t love them enough to give them proper care. The guideline is specific:

Do your part to help to eliminate the homeless pet population and rid the world of unwanted pet owners.

 I verify the address, check my pistol and ring the doorbell.

Carl “Papa” Palmer of Old Mill Road in Ridgeway, Virginia, lives in University Place, Washington. He is retired from the military and Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) enjoying life as “Papa” to his grand descendants and being a Franciscan Hospice volunteer. Carl is a Pushcart Prize, Best of the Net and Micro Award nominee. 

MOTTO: Long Weekends Forever!

Published 2/14/20