Why is it that kids can be so damn creepy? Is it the contrast between (assumed) innocence and unrelenting evil? Is it the disconcerting way they stare behind you as you’re trying to console them? Or maybe the laughs that walk the line between juvenile and psychotic. Whatever the reason, kids have long been a staple in horror cinema, and show no signs of growing up now. **Spoiler alert!** Be aware that this article may give some key plot themes away. (And if you haven’t seen them, can you really call yourself a horror movie fan?)
- Damien in The Omen. Brooding brown eyes, petulant yet ancient and knowing scowl. You won’t find this kid skipping along with Barney, unless he’s bringing an over-sized crucifix down onto his head.
- Anthony in the Twilight Zone episode of “A Good Life.” Anthony is one of the creepiest little bastards to hit the cinema. Don’t believe me? Don’t let him know that, he’ll wish you into the cornfield. But apparently you’ll have lots of company there.
- All of the children in Village of the Damned. Imagine these kids procreating? Beaming white light everywhere, nobody would ever get any sleep.
- Regan in The Exorcist. Normal kids spit up pea soup because they are running a 104 degree temperature and have contracted a virus. Regan has contracted a demon who doesn’t do anything for Regan’s budding adolescent complexion.
- Samuel in The Babadook. We’re not sure if this kid is creepy because he’s being tormented by a spirit or because he’s just simply annoying as hell. Either way his mom won’t let him have a birthday party and she won’t let him have a dad, so stay out of his way, thank you very much and keep lots of Benadryl on hand.
- Esther in The Orphan. What’s creepier than a creepy kid? A creepy adult passing herself off as a creepy kid. Do you really think there’s something wrong with Esther? I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that she’s a 33 year old woman trapped in a Little Bo Peep outfit who tries to seduce her adopted father. Or that she burns down tree houses and pushes kids into harm’s way. Time to kick this wretched bird out of the nest and tell her to get a job.
- Gage in Pet Sematary. It wasn’t Gage’s fault that his clueless parents purchased a home just a dozen steps away from a logging highway. But ultimately, that didn’t stop lil Gage from being social. He’s got his list of playmates that he’s working through, you just better hope you’re not on it!
- Malachai in Children of the Corn. If ever you wanted a faithful servant, Malachai would be the best. His desperate need to serve “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” led him and his followers to gruesomely slay all the adults in town and chase after two unsuspecting lost tourists. Ultimately, his faith betrays him… Shoulda listen to your mom and dad instead of slitting their throats, Malachai!
- Janet in Conjuring 2. The Enfield Haunting was famously known in the UK, and it was ultimately rumored to be a hoax. One of the most chilling scenes in The Conjuring 2 is where little Janet Hodgson begins speaking like an old man during a televised interview. A simple youtube search will conjure up the real interview and it is just as goose-bump generating as the film. If it was a hoax, then Janet Hodgson has one hell of a frog in her throat!
- Samara in the Ring. Does every girl who can’t run a comb through her hair deserve to be thrown down a well? Probably not, but Samara is more than unrelenting, she’s also quite inventive and technologically-savvy, crawling her way out of television sets and transporting herself through video tape. We offer a tiara for that unkempt hair as Samara truly is Queen of Horror Kid-dom.
4/9/19 by Staff